It has been 2 years since I flipped through daily prompts. Daily prompt is about giving a word to the bloggers to prompt their thoughts. On this usual Sunday morning while sipping my tea , I was quizzed by today’s daily prompt. A five-lettered , everyday word -TRUST suggested by my fellow blogger ,Englepappa. It has left me thinking,searching and querying my experiences,my relationships and my achievements. TRUST-easily delivered word with no fancy tongue twist but with a massive responsibility.
When was the last instance ,when I measured a curve on my face because someone trusted me? I had a TT race in the blocks of my grey matter. Randomly moved through my relationship with my parents,friends,partner,siblings,colleagues and whoever I knew for months and years. There was trust,but there was a doubt as well. The doubt existed because trust came with my reputation to do good and their expectation from me to be good. It was no free fall, it was no leap of faith-it was a pure barter.
Ten minutes over. A smile with rose coloured lipstick on it flashed my mind. It was just two days ago. A well dressed happy face entered my surgery. I was chatting with my nurses and receptionist and we were amused to see a happy unknown face in a dental set up. My nurse whispered ,” Is she here to join us? Looks like a new recruitment .” I nodded,”May be!” She whispered again,” I have seen her somewhere.” I prompted ,” Was she with you in your last clinic?” She muttered ,” Nah! May be Morissons.” The pinks lips smiled and delivered aloud,” Hi.” Oh !! She was the lady I had seen a few days ago with an asymmetrical face,drooped jaw,tears in eyes, sleepless nights,on heavy medication yet purely in pain. I saw her that day, listened to her, I had nothing with me to help her except a drill, a few repetitive advices, a new set of tablets,a final word-do not worry, this shall help and a concern call next day!! I could not do much for her. I was worried that evening , shuffling any new treatment modalities for instant relief and praying somewhere ,” Hope she is okay,tonight.”
She was smiling that day when I did not recognise her . Back to symmetry,back to a normal pain free day. She came up with me,sat on the dreaded chair, I examined and re examined her,a few photographs, some radiation, paperwork and eventually a plan. A plan to retain that smile.
Autonomy in health sector is a big word nowadays and often questions the oath ‘do no harm’.
I asked her for a consent,a valid consent- it is a process of fifteen good minutes. She smiled again and said,” I trust you,you helped me sleep that night , I know you will do all in my best interest.” Coming from a different origin ,language was a bit of barrier. I double confirmed and she double confirmed,” I trust you!” Smile is contagious and it was soon on my face too.
Having spent a few good years in dentistry , I have realised that there is no language for hope and trust. It is a promise that goes without saying. Very rarely the reputation is not argued. Very rarely a blind faith is experienced. I was no one to her. I did nothing for her. But she was rest assured I will not let the pink lips slope down and tears roll down her cheeks.
I don’t recall any such experience with people I have been with for ages. I know the day I will fail, their trust in me will fail too. I am not overtly negative but I am being a realist here. Perhaps,only a stranger can make you find the truth. Or may be I am wrong . But,this very easily promised word is very difficult to keep up with. One can conveniently derail.
With today’s prompt I have a memory registered now , I hope you have one too!! “Trust” – one of the finest virtues and one of the finest exchanges!!