Another day of being a dentist. Same old teeth , same fillings,same complains, and same ‘ please don’t worry, I will take care of you.’ Yes it was another day at work. Like I have been sharing here, I have invested 12 good years and 12K pounds in learning the art of dentistry. I still doubt if this is I wanted to do my entire life.
I got up at seven , made my breakfast,packed my sandwich, picked my scrubs and headed to the bus stop. I haven’t got my driving license through so I am dependent on public transport, not that I am not a safe driver. I normally travel with music plugged in ,that keeps me sane for a long day. I knew I had a long day today.
I reached the surgery, opened the door and my nurse welcomed me with a hug after the bank holiday. I must mention she is one of the nicest girls I have met after being here for a while. While I changed to my scrubs , she made sure she was ready with her list for me. The list read ‘ exam,exam,rct,crown prep, filling ,exam,rct and so on!’ Well it is our moral duty to relieve pain and I look at Hippocrates’ oath often!
So we were all set and we were easing the pain. Half a day was gone. I tried peeping in my phone’s apps to see if I had any updates on my blog. Today has been a good day with regards to my blog. People were reading me. Guess I am okay with writing and often keep writing records in my lunch break and today was no different. The second half was less tedious. My sweet nurse shared a few words about her boat and how it needed some maintenance . It was nearly time to wind up and I was thinking ,” Is this all I ever wanted to do?” May be I wanted life to offer me more, not money, not patients but more satisfaction.
I boarded the bus again. Like I mentioned before I overthink. My thoughts do not stop once my brain cells get activated . I started retrospectively , I was a good artist in my school days , I wrote poetry on every festival celebrated in India as a child, I loved cooking when I grew up, I wanted to experience the sea when I was away from home but from nowhere I was a dentist now. Not that I hated healing, but this was not something I was born with and born for . The crux of the matter was I was doing something that I was doing for my living, my 12 years’ dedication and my dad’s idea to see me as a doctor.
Next I was to board my train, I looked out of the window. There were farms open to the sun,ponies playing around, kids on bicycles, people jogging ,the fellow passengers reading books of their choice and there was me thinking. I was wondering I am 32 now, for past 12 years I have done nothing but dentistry.I have restarted writing only four days back,my incomplete art work is lying in a corner, I haven’t cooked anything special in a few months now, I have been to the sea only once in last two months when I live next to it.
What exactly was I doing, when I did not know if I will be boarding the bus to work at all tomorrow?
Suddenly I had a shock wave and I thought what if tomorrow never came for me. Will I not regret being someone who never did what he wanted to? I had a bucket list like all of us have but ‘the when never came‘. I actually had a long and a bad day. The bad day made me think life was shorter than I thought. Life was only today. I could not have reversed my 12 years and have gone to an art school. I could not have asked my dad that why he wanted me to be a dentist. I could not have changed the way my day went. Then what was it I could do? So I cooked with all my heart today , gaucomele was an addition to the meals. I offered my partner if he wanted a blueberry smoothie before he called the day. I opened Twitter and read what a few Bollywood stars ( I am a die hard Bollywood fan😉)had to say and then I thought I had to write. This was a matter of 2 hours but I was doing exactly what I should have done.
One will never have time and resources to pursue what they desired for. This is because we think we will live till late seventies. I do not deny that but what if you are too late to live it then. Life is short and there is no time for remorse. My 12 years will never revert back but I can still go to an art school, I can still write my poetry and I can still print my recipe book.
Pick up what you want to do mates than picking up what you have to do. If you are in love with every moment that passes by , you will know that the years we ‘live ‘ will never be enough!!